Jubilee

"What is silver or gold or anything I could hold
Compared to You, compared to You
What is fame and success, it's all just vain emptiness
Compared to You, compared to You
All that You hold in store is all that I want, Oh Lord"

Me: "Really Lord, do I really believe this?"

"My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus' name.
On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand."

Me: "How long will I linger in sinking sand believing lies and listening to other voices?"

God:
Passage Ephesians 1:3-14:
Spiritual Blessings in Christ

3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. 4For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5he[a] predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— 6to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. 7In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace 8that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. 9And he[b] made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, 10to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment—to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ.

11In him we were also chosen,[c] having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, 12in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. 13And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, 14who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession—to the praise of his glory.

May I fear You greater than
I fear man, I fear man.
May my love for You be measured
By obedience, by repentance.
And in that moment humbly bow-
Teach my heart, Show me how
To fear you more my Lord, my God!
Faithful friend, greatest End.

May I want You greater than
Earthly things, worldly things.
May I find my greatest treasure
Hid in You, bound in You.
And in that moment sell my all
Gladly trade all I own
All to gain the priceless pearl!
Truest Friend, greatest End.

May I love You greater than
My own will, my own will.
May I seek my greatest pleasure
From Your hand, from Your hand.
And in that moment lift my eyes
To the cross, up to Christ
Die to self and gain Your life
Savior Friend, greatest End.
Greatest End.

Yes, Lord, we hear you, we will move out in faith, believing you to be our Greatest End, no matter the cost.

Saint Patrick's Breastplate Christ be with me, Christ within me, Christ behind me, Christ before me, Christ beside me, Christ to win me, Christ to comfort me and restore me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ in quiet, Christ in danger, Christ in hearts of all that love me, Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

The Lord has been speaking in my life for about a year now. When we were waiting for Sophie, God in his patience taught me much about racism. How kind the Lord is to have rooted it out through the years and give me a child of another race to really show me that I too am grafted in to a family that I "don't belong to". It is funny that everyone loves our Asian child but when I have mentioned that the Lord may be calling us to adopt a black child I have gotten mixed responses. Can I just say that The Church has not let me down. Praise God that He has changed the hearts of so many in the Body of Christ.
Well, God is so gracious to still speak to us and all of the writing above is just a taste of what He has said to me last year. The song Greatest End (written by Lee and Melissa Broadwell) was the turning point. "May I fear you greater than, I fear man". Lord wipe this idol from my life. Oh, how I fear man. I really want to be accepted wherever I go. I don't want people to not like me. I don't want to be judged.

The Lord has gotten stronger and stronger, "Choose this day..." And so,

It is will Jubilant praise that Steve and I announce that we are adopting again! We are pursuing a child that is either African-American or Bi-racial. There has been a sweet peace in our household since Sunday. How good it is to follow His calling.
We have a friend Gwen who told us of a great social worker and we are quickly investigating adoption agencies. We are also looking forward to how the cost of adoption will be paid. I am not sure if I will be fundraising like I did with Sophie, mainly because of time and energy spent at work and raising a 2 year old:-) Still, I am sure that the Father will tell us exactly what to do next. Please leave comments if you know of good resources for us.